Why would they do this? Could it be that customer’s were confused about when to buy? Or that advertising costs spiraled? Perhaps keeping up with sales every few days created too many man hours in tagging, re-tagging, and reprogramming computers/cash registers with price changes. It’s likely the customer mind-set of only wanting to buy when something goes on sale had begun to have a reverse effect. In other words, customers have been trained to buy during a sale and will hold off purchasing. They’ve come to believe that the sale price is the “real price” and to pay more is a rip-off. If you’re the retailer, you don’t want the customer to leave and hope they’ll come back for the weekend sale. You want them to buy before they leave your store.

I received a JCPenney multi-page advertisement tucked in my Sunday paper. The first thing I noticed was the jcp logo in the top left corner (it’s possible it was there before and I didn’t notice). My first thought was they were taking the opportunity to tie in simpler branding of their name, similar as to when Kentucky Fried Chicken became KFC. A branding expert must have thought their old name was too long, or that “Penney” had a negative connotation and needed to be replaced, much like the “Fried” in KFC. Subliminally, lower case letters are less threatening – go figure.

Upon turning the cover page, I saw a positively-worded explanation of why the new pricing model is a win-win for jcp and their customers. They reference “spectacular prices.” Forget “sale.” In fact, the word has been banished from the circular. There was also a promise not to bombard the customer with junk. JCPenney, I mean jcp, can now print one glossy advertisement for a month of values. This advertisement is labeled “fickle february.” Talk about savings – imagine the drop in their printing bill! Next page: this year’s bright color palette in combination with the simple product layout makes the advertising supplement easy to read. It tells you if the item’s price is an everyday or monthly value. There are no distracting backgrounds. It doesn’t get much simpler than this. It’s a clean look and the pricing is easy to understand. Finally, on the back cover, is another simple pricing explanation – in red, white, and blue (how American) – along with their new return policy – the popular any item, anytime, anywhere.

No more sales. No more rip-offs. Penney’s is betting they can boost their bottom line by changing the customer mind-set of what constitutes fair treatment. I’m betting they’re right.

While in Ashland, Trudy and I were privileged to be part of a “gifting circle” hosted by Bill and his wife Zoe. On a Sunday evening, some two dozen people gathered for a delicious and carefully-prepared potluck (each individual proudly “introduced” the dish they brought). After ample time for chatting in two’s and three’s and four’s during a leisurely dinner, we reconvened in a circle. As we went around, each individual offered a “gift,” made a request, or both. Both gifts and requests included items and services, some more tangible and some less. Someone who had just moved to town required a food processor – and someone else had one they weren’t using. Others offered personal services that many in the room might not have been able to afford. However, in a circle of exchange and reciprocity, they were able to use these services and offer something of value as well. Consequently, everyone’s life became richer … without the use of money.

So … as we approach the holiday season, what does all this mean? For one thing, it means that giving and receiving need not involve money at all. What if we hosted pre-holiday “gifting circles” in our community for friends and acquaintances, where we offered and requested gifts from one another that wouldn’t necessarily involve exchange of money?

I remember vividly my mixed feelings three years ago when a few relatives called and asked if it were OK if we “didn’t exchange gifts this year.” Like everyone else in the retail business, I looked forward to holiday sales. However, I could see that the economic crisis that October had – out of necessity – broken the trance of buy, buy, buy. With less discretionary income, people were using more discretion in choosing how to spend what they had. And that’s a good thing.

Steve Bhaerman is an internationally known author, humorist, and workshop leader. For the past 23 years, he has written and performed as Swami Beyondananda, the “Cosmic Comic.” Please visit: http://thewakeuplaughingblog.com

Sorry you bought and want a refund? Good luck! On top of it, your loss is someone else’s gain. Businesses have now sprung up to buy off the product you can’t use – at a discount, of course (see couprecoup and dealsgoround). This takes off some of the edge, but why put yourself in this position in the first place?

The next time you’re tempted to act on the next super savings deal that seems too good to pass up, ask yourself a few questions. Is the money for the product or service already accounted for in my budget? Will I use it in a timely manner? Have I already purchased something similar that remains unused? Am I buying because I’m being enticed or this really a product or service I would have purchased anyway at a higher price? Am I paying for this on a credit card on which I’m making payments and thus the real price after interest will be higher?

It’s all too easy for some to react to hype, a deadline, and maybe even a nudge from a friend to jump on the bandwagon. Before you act – stop. Pause and ask yourself these questions. Make sure before you buy that the band is playing your tune and that you aren’t jumping to theirs. This way, the thrill of getting a deal will be less likely to turn into a sour note later.

1)      Ask yourself what would motivate your SO to give you what you want, and appeal to that. In all fairness, relationships are about give and take. Find out what you must give to set up a fair exchange. You already know what your SO likes, or you could ask about a trade-off. When your SO feels it’s in their best interest, you’ll both get what you want.

2)      Don’t start your request with a yes/no question. If your SO says “yes” you’re all set, but you may hear “no.” Don’t put yourself in a position of having to come from behind. Use a yes/no question to nail down an affirmative reply when you’ve already set the stage to hear a positive answer.

3)      Plan ahead by gathering information. Questions that begin with the words, “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,” “why,” “how,” and “which” are great for eliciting information. These open-ended questions invite a longer, more informative response. Use it to gauge your SO’s willingness to give you what you want. This method of communication helps you find out objections to a particular subject and gives you an opportunity to overcome them before asking outright. It also helps you determine what you must give on your end to make it happen.

For example: say you need a new outfit, a dress, for an upcoming dinner. You and your SO don’t always agree on what’s appropriate or attractive, and you want an opinion. From past experience, you know your SO doesn’t like to stand around and wait while you try on a dozen different outfits. Here’s how to put the three tips to work for you:

During a general conversation, casually mention you need a new dress, something your SO would be proud to see you wear. This gives a reason to help in the process. If your SO needs to shop for an unrelated item, while they get what they need, you could be narrowing your choices to three dresses. You ask to meet up in an hour to show the ones you would buy upon approval. Promise to keep this process short and stick to it. When you believe there is agreement, save your yes/no question for the end.

It could go something like this:

You:    Hey, Honey, when are you planning your next trip to the store? (Listen to the answer and form your request around it.) The reason I ask is we have three events coming up including your office party. My best dress has seen better days. I need something new and I want to make sure I pick out something you like as much as I do. I know you don’t want to hang out while I shop, so I’m thinking you can drop me off at the mall and you can take care of what you need to do while I’m looking at dresses. Then, we could meet up an hour later for just a few minutes. I’ll show you what I like and you can pick the one you like best. Are we on?

Be creative in your thinking. Present choices – ones that work for you. Here’s a second look at our dress scenario using choices.

You:    Honey, we’ve got a few events coming up and I need a new dress. I know you hate shopping, however I’d like to get your opinion on whatever I’ll be wearing to your office party. Which would you prefer? Do you want to come shopping with me? Or, would you rather I bring home three dresses to show you? You pick one and I’ll return the rest.

Whether you meet at the store or your home, by picking the dresses first, you’ve already ensured you’ve got several that you would be happy to wear.

When you bring your SO into the decision-making process, you confer empowerment. By giving choices, there’s a better chance your SO will agree to something you want, whether you are buying a dress, picking a movie, doing a room make-over, or deciding where to go on vacation.

The Kindle phone representative spent over an hour with Beatrice. She tried to fix the problem remotely, which required an additional day of wait time. The next day, Beatrice spoke to the same rep, and unfortunately, the problem couldn’t be corrected. Beatrice asked for a new Kindle. The rep looked up the date of sale and found it was five days out of warranty. The rep stuck by the warranty’s expiration date and denied Beatrice’s request.

What to do? Beatrice didn’t give in; she gave the representative reasons why they should agree to her request. She pointed out that the problem had been ongoing for much longer than five days. She said she belonged to a writer’s group where she promotes the product and felt she was a good salesperson. How would it sound if she told everyone the Kindle didn’t work because it was defective?

The Kindle phone rep said she would talk to the Kindle group. The rep phoned back with an okay to ship a new Kindle to Beatrice based on Beatrice’s actions as a promoter. The new Kindle arrived within days and Beatrice has a story to tell her writing group – one with a happy ending.

Let’s define the term. We think of heroes as those who go above and beyond the normal call of duty or daily living to help another. A hero can also be one who sacrifices for the greater good, not thinking of themselves for the benefit of others in either a single act or as a daily contribution to life.

Now, apply this thinking and action to yourself as it relates to your goals, your dreams and your loved ones. We each have within ourselves the ability to excel at any given moment or extended period of time in ways seemingly incomprehensible.

I’ll never forget many years ago how my diminutive friend – all of five feet – lifted a car off her father when it fell on him as he worked beneath it, saving his life. She tried later to raise up a corner of the car from the bumper and couldn’t do it. It’s a good thing she didn’t stop to think whether she could actually lift a car because the story would likely not have had the same happy ending.

In what situation might you find yourself? The truth is we don’t know what’s possible or what might come our way. We do know that we give ourselves messages of what we can and cannot do. We set limitations and we can remove them.

To be a hero in your own life, your first challenge is to open up to the possibility of personal greatness. Identify and take responsibility for the limitations you’ve set and examine what purpose they serve. When you dig deep, answers that reveal more about your choices, rather than situations out of your control, are the ones you can change to reflect more of how you’d ideally like to be in this world. Knowing where you’re at reveals the baseline for moving above and beyond.

Your second challenge is to take an active role. Exercise your new power and let it grow. Expect to rearrange at least some of your priorities. You’ll be inclined to fall back on your old thoughts and behavior. Focus on the benefit you believe can be yours. How badly do you want it? When the benefit you perceive is greater than your current ways, you will make the necessary changes.

To open to personal greatness, you may decide upon the kind of small, but concerted change that new daily habits can create. Or, you may be inspired to make a giant leap into heroic action. It’s not just great for you, but for those around you. Others learn by example, so while you strive for personal gain and happiness, you also lead by example and inspire others to find their greatness as well.

Note: This essay originally appeared on The Penny Friends as a guest blog post.

Defeat comes from inside you. It doesn’t come from an outside decision-maker, that is, the person saying “no.” Imagine a judge passes on your painting for a juried show. You think it’s about you, but it’s not. It’s about the judge’s perspective of how your artwork fits in the show. You didn’t get what you want and disappointment is natural, but how deep do you go?

The sting of rejection may make you want to slink away to lick your wounds. No wonder you’d want to avoid that feeling again. The judge didn’t inflict that feeling upon you, it’s yours. You created it. You own it, and you can disown it. Think of it as a choice.

It may not be easy at first. After all, you put your heart and soul into that painting and a judge didn’t find it suitable for inclusion, which is not to say it wasn’t worthy. Your offering simply didn’t meet the other person’s needs.

What helps many folks is realizing that their emotional investment is separate from themselves as a whole person, just as the painting itself is a separate entity. Your painting could be a better fit in another show or with another judge. Don’t doubt your self-worth or tear yourself down. Tell yourself it’s not personal. Own that instead.

The next time you hear, “no,” you’ll know it’s because there wasn’t a good match. The letdown won’t feel as dramatic. Build on this model and you’ll:

1. Be more inclined to search out a better match with your self-worth intact.
2. Objectively assess a situation separate from your feelings.
3. Be more apt to ask. After all, they might say, “yes!”

For related material read “Captain of the Thought Police” 07-31-09 blog post.

Conceivably, one could browse the convention booths as one might a bookstore, albeit on a grand scale, however I went with several goals in mind. Advance planning paid off as I hit my starred attractions before I lost track of time in wonderland.

My primary objective was to find a book distributor for “You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get.” Some distributors were too large for my taste, or only would accept newcomers with a minimum of five or ten books. I found one distributor in particular I liked and submitted my information. Distributors take about one new client for each nine they reject. More on this as it develops.

I considered publishers who might be interested in my book as a repackage deal. Other publishers were interested in my unpublished romance novel and short story collections. I found companies able to generate book reviews, marketing and PR. I attended two talks, one by Michael Moore, who read an excerpt from his upcoming book of true stories (fascinating), and a panel discussion on book marketing stunts (so-so). My book was on display in the IBPA (Independent Book Publishers Association) booth where I discovered a couple of Russians eyeing it for translation. I spoke with one gentleman about writing an article for his writing magazine, and picked up information about a book reading program on Sirius Radio.

I returned home wired up and excited. Follow-up starts tomorrow for the piles of contact info I’ve sorted on my dining room table. Far from being overwhelmed, the work load pleases me. It’s what I want to do and I’m doing it.

How well have you defined your goal?

Vague goals are idle wishes. Add detail and be specific. Know clearly where you stand at point A, and what’s waiting at point B. Imagine your goal as going from your state to Alaska (a big state!), versus starting from your address and going by plane and taxi to 123 Main Street, Suite 108, Anchorage, Alaska, wearing your new suit, arriving at 1pm, on June 28^th for an in-person interview at ABC company for the position of paralegal paying $64,000/year, which will enable you to move ahead in your career and help you save for the future while living in your dream city.

Why is your goal important?

It’s about you! It’s your life – make the most of it. The more passionate you are about your goal, the more likely you have several motivations leading you in the right direction. In “You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get” (available at Good Day Media and Amazon), find the list of 7 motivations: emotional, physical/time, logical, fairness, spiritual/beliefs, personal and financial, followed by their descriptions. Ask yourself how your goal ties in to each of these motivations.

Is your goal attainable?

Stretch and challenge yourself without overreaching to impossible levels. Do you have physical, time, or other constraints? Would it be okay if you met part of your goal? Break up a really big goal into manageable chunks. Some people believe that “failure is not an option.” You may try again taking a different tack, but with new lessons learned. It has been said that the only real failure is not having ever started.

How will you reach your goal?

Develop an action plan so you know how to get from point A to point B. Again, be as specific as possible. There may be areas where you are not sure how they will play out. Do a little research rather than trying to wing it.

How will you know if you achieve your goal?

Write down how you will measure success along the way. Use the 7 motivational categories to help you define what will happen or how your life will look and feel when you reach markers on your path. The journey is an integral part of the goal, and may be an on-going goal in itself.

One last bit of advice: don’t dwell in the land of “what if.” While asking yourself this question may be an aid to planning ahead and getting around road blocks, at some point you will have to go with the information you have and begin your move. Remember, you can make adjustments along the way. Now, go for it!

Buns of Steel Cut Oats
Fidgeting – All New Exercises for Busy Professionals
Worriers Guide to Weight Loss – Lose Pounds While You Lose Sleep
Bread, Water and You
Lose 10 lbs. Without Losing Your Head
Eat, Drink, and Meet Mary – Your Dietician
Weight Loss Secrets and the Common Cold
Your Wallet-on-a-diet Diet
Chew-Chew-Chew Your Way to Burning Calories
Speedy Weight Loss with Fast food, Fast Times and Flax
Orgasmic Chocolate Gum: Myth or a Girl’s Best Friend?
Dominatrix Weight Loss Dungeon and How You Can Apply
Amazing Silt Discovery – Purifies While it Cleanses
Easy Recipes Not Worth Eating
Vanilla Pods and Hot Bods
A Loaf of Bread, a Jug of Wine and a Baggie Full of Bran
The Catch Your Own Food and Eat It Raw Diet
Lose Weight While Watching TV – Mission Impossible?
Gorge and Be Gorgeous!
Zip Your Lip to Zip Your Pants

To wrap up, here’s a variation on a perennial favorite:

Relationship Tell-all: How I Said Get Lost to Over 100 lbs!